I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I love having hate sex.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
