And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
