did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
