dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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