I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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