The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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