That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
worst night to have a conscience
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
