I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
