i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
