ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
