Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
