honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
