Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
