i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
