FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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