his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
