We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
