Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
