Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
