I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
