At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
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