if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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