Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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