have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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