I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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