And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
