Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
