The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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