She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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