so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
