He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
