apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
ttyl tear gas
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
