Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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