When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I queefed so loud it echoed.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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