totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
