I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
