i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I don't think brook has ever known best
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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