my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
