I bet he comes in French.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
