I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
