Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
