i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
As shirtless as possible
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
