He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
