I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
