I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I want to fling myself into the sun
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
