So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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