Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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