she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I feel like abortions should bother me more
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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