Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
