I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
True but thats because hes a fetus.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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